I'm no dating or relationship expert, but heck here's my two cents on something that I think is very important to any relationship. Sure there are many key aspects such as communication, trust, showing affection, etc- but I think another key aspect that is easily forgotten is: being with someone that challenges you to be a better person.
In a relationship, this person you are with is potentially your life partner. Sure y'all will get to know all the small things about each other like what your pet peeves are, who your biggest inspiration is, or how you like your eggs in the morning; however, your partner should also know and be part of all the big things as well- including: your dreams, passions, life goals, etc. No matter what your dreams are or how big they may seem, above all- your partner should believe in your ability and be behind you in achieving all those things and more. (--and if you don't have it all figured out, your partner should be supporting you and challenging you through that as well)
Now, that goes to you as well- you both should be supporting one another for each others separate goals.
I think it's easy in a relationship to get distracted by being in love, wanting to have fun and spending every moment together. To an extent, you've created a whole new universe and it's just you and them. I've been there. But to be quite frank, it got to a place where I felt stuck and unmotivated to do anything else- a place where I wasn't growing individually. I think it's important to step back from looking at only the relationship, but refocusing on each other's personal growth. While it is great to have this "new universe", we can't abandon our reality- where here too we have to remember that we have the ability to make our own personal dreams come true (shit that was corny, but you know what I mean).
And I know I'm talking mainly about romantic relationships, but I believe that this goes for any relationship as well. If anything, this is just as important in close friendships/family- the people who influence you on the daily.
My point is- the least you can do is surround yourself with individuals who not only want to see you thrive and be the best person you can be, but people who will challenge your abilities and help you grow. I also want to add that this comes in forms too. It may not always be about having people that remind you of your goals, but it can be just being around people who inspire you to be the best person you can be. And if you feel like you don't have those people in your life just yet, go out and find them.
I guess why I felt like I needed to write about this was after a conversation I had with my friend Jazzy (s/o Jazzy if you're reading this.) So often I see people that have so much potential to carry out their dreams, but they don't get that far because of the people they are around- whether they are influenced by negative energies, bad influences, or simply just not doing anything at all themselves. -And there is a difference between being in the process and being stagnant. So if that sounds like someone you know, I encourage you to be there for them too.
// After this reflection, I feel very blessed for the people in my life that keep me going. Sometimes I'm hesitant to tell others about my life dreams and interests because.. well, they just seem "unconventional". Hell, my parents still think I want to be a social worker or a teacher ---not that I know exactly what I want to be yet- but if you really knew me, you'd know those aren't my careers of choice. But fortunately, I am happy that I have a partner and kickass friends who I can be open with, believe in my potential, and inspire me to achieve those goals.
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- reflecting on life includes reflecting on your relationships as well
- be with people who make you better
- you choose who you surround yourself with
