Here is Jackie. But here is also the Jackie that you see, the Jackie that I see, and the Jackie that I want you to see.
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I put together this self-portrait for my Queer Arts class. The prompt was simple, "create a self portrait with a story that you want to convey." Self-portraits are interesting. I begin to question myself: "who am I?" "what do I want people to know about me?" I then find myself in such a vulnerable place and wanting to share so much, yet still feeling like I have to filter how I'm feeling.
There is the entire me, the way I perceive myself, and the idea of me. I find these entities competing against themselves at times most when I'm trying to find balance. It's a constant internal challenge for me, but through this project I wanted to showcase this feeling with the change in movement and emotions. These shots are candid and paused screenshots of a full length video of me putting on makeup and taking off makeup. The candidness of these photographs illustrate the unedited/raw version of me. As I'm doing all these actions, I'm looking at a mirror reflecting the way I perceive myself. Then finally, actions of me putting on makeup and creating an edited version of me, demonstrate the idea of me that I intentionally create - whether that is received the way I want them to be or not.
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hmm, I want to elaborate more about this idea - but I'll come back to this. I'll come back to it after y'all have interpreted or misinterpreted my project lol.
