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| My dad took this picture of me in my parents' huge backyard. |
It was okay.
I spent most of my time eating and sleeping at home, to be quite honest. I probably would have wished for a more eventful spring break but it's okay, I needed to relax after that crazy quarter.
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Like I always say, being home is bittersweet.
The sweetness always comes first though! After a long quarter all I looked forward to was eating my mom's home-cooked meals. Whenever I come home, I always make sure to give her a heads up that I'm coming because that's when she starts whipping out her best recipes and my favorite dishes (aka everything). I swear I was eating at every hour but no ones complaining. Then comes my bed. My bed isn't the comfiest bed in the world, but for some reason I can sleep in that bed for hours until I have wasted my whole day. It must be the comfort of being in my own room and being surrounded by familiar walls, because even the dust that has collected over the months should keep me out of bed- but it doesn't.
But after time, without any distractions ... it gets bitter. Without any places I need to be, or things to do, or people to entertain me, reality hits- and most of the time it hits pretty hard. Whether I start thinking about old memories, things my family is going through, my stress back in LA, or even my future- my head starts spinning to the point where I'm not motivated to do anything. It's really hard to even explain. I try to write or make art, basically trying to make anything out of all these emotions but I just feel... stuck. I begin to realize how much my life is always changing and how the person that I am here (or once was) is different than the person that I am everywhere else or the person I want to be.
Bittersweet, yes- but I think I needed it. It's always good to come back home, be spoiled for a bit and reflect, but I also know that coming home now is always temporary. That being said, with my life constantly changing, I feel like I'm getting close to a point in my life of making new moves. Now that I'm finished with college and my lease is almost up in a couple of months, I keep getting the question- "Are you going to move back home?" My answer is, at most- temporarily, my goal is not more than a month or a few weeks. What I'll be doing after that or where I'll be, that's for me to decide. Bittersweet, yes- but I trust in this process.
